Wise Mind is a skill offered by DBT. We all have a Wise Mind within us, even when it’s not readily visible or easy to find.
We have 3 states of mind from which we may be operating at any given time.
Reasonable Mind is the logical part of our brain. Biologically, we might equate this to the prefrontal cortex. It is the logical, rational, calculating part of our thinking that operates based on fact. Emotion does not factor into the equation. This is how a computer thinks.
Emotional Mind is all about feeling: anger, sadness, panic, excitement, jealousy, fear. No logic is needed in this type of thinking. Biologically, we might equate this to the midbrain (AKA the mammalian brain). You might notice that the more emotional you are, the less logical your thinking tends to be.
Wise Mind is where these 2 types of thinking overlap. It is the ability to use sound, logical decision making while also acknowledging our emotions. We can say something like “I feel this, and I know this, so I will do this”. To access Wise Mind, we need to connect to both our Reasonable Mind and our Emotional Mind.
Many people make the mistake of thinking that Reasonable Mind is the “right” way to think; if we’re logical enough, we can solve any problem. But there’s a major flaw with that philosophy: we’re not robots. Humans have feelings, and we have them for a reason. Imagine trying to maintain a relationship with someone who operated using only logical, calculated thinking and no emotion. At the same time, imagine trying to maintain a relationship with someone who operated only from emotion and never used rational thinking. Neither scenario seems very good.
Wise Mind may be easy to find when Reasonable Mind and Emotional Mind agree with each other. For example: if you come across a bear in the woods, your Reasonable Mind says “bears can kill you”, your Emotional Mind screams “I’m scared and I want to get to safety!”, so your Wise Mind says “RUN!”
However, when they don’t agree with each other, it’s not so easy. For example: if you have a phobia of doorknobs and approach a closed door, your Reasonable Mind says “doorknobs are safe”, your Emotional Mind screams “I’m scared and I want to get to safety!”… what are you to do?
What’s an example of a Wise Mind decision that you’ve made recently (something that required you to use both Reasonable and Emotional thinking)? What’s it like when you can’t find Wise Mind? What are some ways you can access Wise Mind?